In the recent weeks I have come across many people, friends and coaching clients, who were expressing frustration with themselves.
Sometimes it was a physical pain, succumbing to a cold, feeling low or wondering why they still hanging on to the ashes of a deceased loved one.
What all these people had in common, was a degree of aggression against themselves. Being cross for their ‘stupid’ back hurting, angry for getting ill – “It’s really bad timing”, “Why am I not just getting on with it?” etc.
The underlying assumption is that we are not being efficient and functioning at that moment. The anger expressed suggests we are feeling put upon by our failing body or mind. Often our working lives assume that we are highly functioning every single minute of the day. It also assumes that we use the nighttime to sleep efficiently.
But we are not machines, we are sensitive systems, that respond to circumstances and environments.
You don’t tell a crying friend that they are stupid for crying. You comfort them.
Do the same to yourself and whichever part of you that’s hurting or confused.
Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Allow yourself to ache sometimes, allow yourself to not be at your best. Allow yourself the option to not to anything for now, if you don’t know what to do.
Ask yourself what’s going on for me right now? And listen to your answer.
We are like the weather, sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy or even stormy.
The interesting thing is, we are changeable.
Embrace it, acknowledge it, accept it.